Being successful is as much about self-confidence as it is about anything else. Fatherless people who constantly doubt themselves often can’t reach their goals because their negative thoughts act as saboteurs, preventing them from doing the things they want to do. That’s why the first step of the success mindset is believing in yourself.
Dealing with Naysayers and Self Doubt
When you set a goal, you may find that people in your life express doubts or dismiss your goal as unreasonable or unattainable. You may also hear a little voice in your head that says you can’t do what you want to do.
If you want to succeed, you’ve got to find a way to silence both the naysayers in your life and your negative inner critic. Listening to either can sabotage your best efforts and ensure you don’t achieve success.
With the naysayers, you’ve got three options:
- Ignore them and let their negativity roll off your back
- Talk to them and convince them not to be negative
- Avoid their company
The right choice may vary from person to person. Sometimes, friends and family don’t realize they’re being negative. When that’s the case, a simple, “Hey, I’d appreciate it if you’d find a way to be positive about my goals” might do the trick.
Some fatherless people might be unwilling or unable to curb their negativity. When that’s the case, you’ll have to decide if you can ignore it or if you’re better off avoiding their company. Choose the option that’s right for you.
Avoiding the inner critic is more challenging because you carry it around with you. A good option is to reframe the negativity and imagine that instead of talking to yourself, you’re talking to a dear friend. You wouldn’t be rude or insensitive to a friend, so don’t treat yourself that way either!
Identifying Your Strengths
Believing in yourself is easier when you recognize your strengths. We’ve all got things we do well, so why not celebrate them?
You can cultivate a mindset of self-believe by making a list of the things you do best. Are you a great salesperson? An innovator? A team builder?
Write down your strongest traits and abilities and then turn them into affirmations. When you’re heading into a meeting or negotiation or planning session, read the list and remind yourself that you’re a terrific negotiator or a strong speaker. It’ll put a spring in your step and help you maintain a positive outlook.
Overcoming Fears and Negative Thoughts
The flipside of acknowledging your strengths is looking at your fears and negative thoughts of being fatherless and finding ways to overcome them. We’re all afraid of something. What sets us apart is how we handle those fears.
With negative thoughts, try reframing them as things you would say to a friend. You can even write out your negative thoughts and then rewrite them with a positive spin.
Fears are a little trickier. You’re going to need to face them. Look for ways to give yourself the tools you need to overcome your fears. For example, someone with a fear of public speaking might join Toastmasters or Amazing Public Speaking to get critiques and encouragements from fellow members.
Please leave a comment on what you are doing as a fatherless person to believe in yourself and please share.