All relationships are a struggle but being fatherless is even more so. The fatherless men's relationships have a different dynamic too, it's because they are the ones who are supposed to be the protectors and leaders of our families. When we think of all the relationships that are ruined when a man is fatherless, it's a wonder things aren't worse than they are. Today I'm going to talk about some of those important relationships fatherless men are missing and how they are affecting our society.
Relationship With Himself
This relationship stands in the number one spot in my opinion because when a man does not have a positive relationship with his father he becomes clueless about who he is.
And if a man doesn't know who he is, then all of his relationships will be a struggle and in most cases a failure. Let's think about all the problems' society is experiencing because of men not knowing who he is and what he can accomplish.
Never having that father to validate him. Desperate to hear the words "great job son, you did it". These are some powerful words that many men have never heard. But, if these words are constantly used to validate a child then he will grow up with an identity and a purpose to be a powerful man.
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Relationship With His Wife
When a fatherless man becomes married and now everything about leading a home becomes real, these men will feel the pressure and find any excuse to leave the relationship. Remember, he has no identity and is afraid that he will not know how to lead his household. How are women going to feel secure if she has a man who is insecure and afraid of leading the household?
This causes a lot of problems within the relationship. He is the man but doesn't have a clue about what that means. He wishes he had his father available to ask him questions about what to do. This is a scary situation for them and they will show this by lashing out or withdrawing.
Men, want to be the leader of their homes but they do not want to tell their wives, "I just don't know how to do this." This is because, in a lot of cases, they believe they will be judged as a failure by their wives.
Now, all fatherless men are not like this but too many are. So, it is extremely important that a woman knows about the relationship between her mate and his father before she marries or has any children with him.
Relationships With His Children
A fatherless man who has children is going to struggle his entire life because he is going to do so much to compensate for what his dad didn't do for him. I look at this as being the wrong reason to try to be a good daddy. I believe a man should want to be a good dad because he loves his children the same way his dad loved him.
Unfortunately, when fatherless men become fathers they want to prove something but forget to do the simple things like saying I love you and showing affection to his children especially to his sons. Sons of fatherless dads really don't care if his dad had a father in his life he just wants him to be in his. It becomes a very sad story when a man who is fatherless decides to check out of his biological children's life. But sometimes he knows nothing else.
I say biological because we as a society are becoming comfortable with just having a father in the house and that biology doesn't matter. I think it does because if all the children in the house are not by both parents then someone has neglected their responsibility (the absent parent).
Relationship With His Mother
This is a major relationship that too many men are saying they did not have a good one. A lot of these fatherless men who were raised by their mothers will only become resentful after a while.
This is important to understand. There is a saying that says you can tell how a man will treat you by seeing how well he treats his mother. What this saying does not take into account is how this fatherless child was treated his entire life by his mother.
Most women, I would hope, were great mothers to their sons, but to many stories are being broadcasted about the abuse of these little boys. They have been called all kinds of names and physical abuse just because they looked like their fathers.
These fatherless abused boys are supposed to be the fathers of the next generation, but how can they if they had no father to teach them and has been emotionally and physically abused. This man will not make a good father for your children unless he gets some needed help, even if he does shows he is very good to his mother.
Relationship with His Father
Because the fatherless never had a relationship with his father, this will impact all the relationships listed above. The father, the man who makes all the difference, the glue, the protector, the rock. And, if he is fatherless it will be extremely difficult to be any on them. This relationship should not be ignored.
Fathers being out of their son's lives will only continue to cause havoc. Fathers and mothers who had quality parents in their lives display the best way to raise healthy children who will become healthy parents themselves thus slowing this fatherless problem.
Please leave a comment and tell me what you think about this blog post. Or if you are a fatherless father who has had problems with his anger go to fathersconqueringanger.com to get help. Or if you would like to ask a question in a more private setting then go to www.questionsfromthefatherless.com