How Being a Single Mother By Choice Promotes Fatherlessness
The Single Mother by Choice
This topic has been on my mind for a few weeks now and I’m so surprised that single mothers actually want to be single mothers by choice and this is fine with a lot of people. Well, for me this is not alright because it does not take the child's well-being into consideration.
When I listen to a fatherless person talk, I can always hear the pain in their voice. This pain comes from something that happened during their childhood and not being able to express how they felt about growing up without their dad.
It’s always a forgone conclusion that as long as the mother is doing what she needs to do, the child will be alright. This is a lie! Children are suffering from not having their dad around them since the time they were inside of their mother’s womb, through their childhood and adulthood.
It is so unfair for a person to decide on her own, because she is most likely missing something, to put her children at a disadvantage ON PURPOSE! It’s just not fair.
How this is so Selfish!
Before we get into this part of the blog, let me get the definition of selfish for your understanding. So, selfish means (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure. Below see some trait of a selfish person and tell me if this describes a single mother by choice or not;
- They do not show weakness or vulnerability. ...
- They don't accept constructive criticism. ...
- They believe they deserve everything. ...
- They do not listen to those who do not agree with them. ...
- They criticize others behind their backs. ...
- They exaggerate their achievements. ...
- They are scared of taking risks.
Now that we have an understanding of what it means to be selfish, we can continue. By looking at the information above can anyone tell me how deciding to have a child without the daddy on purpose is not selfish?
I’ve heard single mothers say how can a mother be selfish if she is taking care of her child by herself? I say to this single mother, read and comprehend the info above.
We cannot continue to think it is ok to bring children into this world without the presence of a great father and leader. This is insane and I’m going to have to call it out.
Affects This Has on Our Children
You see, these mothers are too blind to even see what is happening to these children they raise. Here are some horrific statistics they must understand before they choose to bring their children into this type of drama.
71% of dropouts come from a fatherless home, which means you are giving your child a 29% chance at finishing high school. How sad is that, single mother by choice?
63% of child suicide comes from homes absent a father. Again this means you your child has a 27% chance of not becoming a statistic. If this doesn’t touch you then nothing will.
Lastly, and this stat just drives me crazy but we all need to take this into consideration if we want to make this move. And that’s if a woman grows up without a father in their life there’s is a 93% chance she will get a divorce. That is staggering! Again, this means you have set your daughter up for failure by giving her only a 7% chance to get married and stay married. Tell me how that is not selfish!?
The Effect on Society
If you look all over the world, the internet and in your own families, you will see the devastation everywhere. Fatherless men, women, and children are suffering from this and no one really knows how to fix this.
When you see protests of someone black being shot by a white policeman, that a majority of the women in these marches have fatherless sons at home who will probably end up in the same situation as the man who was shot. All of these men were set up to fail and that’s by society and their single mothers by choice. We have to be better if we are going to expect better.
How We Can Do Better For a Better Future
This is going to be a difficult task and if you want to be serious, because if we started putting everything in play in 2020, most of us living today may never see these actual changes. So, does this mean we shouldn’t seek to make a change? The answer to this question is we most definitely should look for solutions.
There are 3 main issues that need to be revamped if we want to see a change
#1. We have to make sure that all children know who their biological father is at birth. This will slow the number of fatherless children who are coming in the first place.
#2. We have to punish anyone who lies about the correct paternity of the child and this penalty should be harsh.
#3. Somehow the man has to become part of the family again. If we fix the first two issues then the 3rd will not be hard to accomplish.
Please leave your comment on what you think about this week’s blog. We all have to work together in order for us to see any change. Please share with everyone you know.
If you feel uncomfortable leaving your message here then go to a more secure sight to send me your message.
Resources
https://exploringyourmind.com/7-traits-of-selfish-people/
https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/selfish
https://fathers.com/statistics-and-research/the-consequences-of-fatherlessness/2/
Tom Guu
Hi Tom. My name is Tyrone and I just want to thank you for all the work you do and the sacrifices you make to help the fatherless. My mother and father separated when I was three years of age, and they never reconciled. So I and my three older brothers also grew up without our father in the home. Of course, this led to many struggle for us while growing up. I believe God is deeply concerned about the fatherless, so an adult, I now strive to help the fatherless. My website is Godlyfathersministry.com Feel free to check it out if you like. It is still in the process of being built, but accessible. Again, thanks so much for what you are doing to help the fatherless. May God bless you!