As a young person I noticed that there are some things that
people are just plain good at. Its like they are a natural.
Baseball, football, basketball no matter the sport, the truly
great athletes were born athletes.. That is not to say that they
did not have to practice. It just seems like SUCCESS came much
easier for them.
My guess is that by now you are thinking... I thought this was
going to be an article on parenting. Wow! It occurred to me that
no one is naturally a great parent even though we all, well most
all, want to do a great job raising our child or children.
Think about it. The consequences of being a bad parent are more
than a little inconvenient. In the next few paragraphs I would
like to share with you my ideas on how to raise a confident,
respectful, independent, fun loving, and obedient child that
should be prepared to live in this great society that we live in.
If you are thinking there are more qualities that a child should
learn, I agree with you, that would take a book or maybe even
volumes to cover. Maybe that will be next.
Raising the Confident Child
Keep in mind that a child has develops his or her complete value
system by the age of four or five. With that in mind, if you
plan on raising a confident child you can not wait until they are
in their teens and are in need of professional help. Raising the
confident child begins with each and every interaction that you
as a parent have with your newborn child. Here is a list of tips
that will assist you in raising the confident child.
- 1. When interacting with your child, speak to them in a normal everyday voice. Baby talk is learned. You do not want your child to have to break that speech pattern when they enter school.
- 2. Make a big deal out of small accomplishments. If you want your child to be a people pleaser and gain confidence they must first receive that positive feed back from you.
- 3. Do not raise your voice when correcting your child. I know this will be difficult, but it is very important. Remember, you are the adult in every situation. Irrational behavior such as screaming or yelling only teaches a child how to be irrational, not confident.
- 4. Be specific. Do not merely tell your child, "You must be good." Most young children need for you to be specific. Tell them specifically what it is that you want them to do.
Many people will tell you respect has to be earned. While this
is true in our adult world, teaching respect to a two or three
year old is different. A child learns respect by modeling their
parents behavior. If you want a respectful child, you must be
his or her example.
If your child sees you showing respect to grandparents, friends,
and neighbors then he will learn respect. On the other hand, if
you start talking negatively about them as soon as they are out
of sight, the child will perceive this as acceptable behavior.
It is very important that you genuinely respect and care for the
people that you and your child interact with.
Raising the Independent Child
While it is hard for a new parent to even think about the
importance of independence, one can not start too early. We all
want our child to eventually make their own decisions. But the
trick is to give them this responsibility only when it truly does
not matter to you what decision they make.
Young children will often ask to go and play outside. This is
the perfect opportunity for you to say, "I am going to let you
decide." This will teach them how to make decisions and they
will realize that sometimes it will be up to them.
As they get older and their decisions become more important it
will be imperative that you continue to let them make the
decision. Safety is always of high importance, but if no one is
going to get hurt, much can be learned through good and bad
Raising the Fun-Loving, Happy Child
We all want our children to be happy and have fun as they grow
up. The biggest problem is when parents do not listen to their
children. Yes! That is what I said. You must listen to your
child. Many parents expect their child to be little clones of
Many parents try to live their second childhood out through their
children. This may be the result of a false pretense or a dream
that the parent could not have achieved because of a lack of
ability. Just because you like fishing does not mean your child
will. You may have enjoyed tap or ballet as a child but your
child may never put those shoes on.
Like I said, listen to your child. Bed time is a great time to
wind down and listen to your child tell you what they enjoyed
about the day. If you will listen, you can find out what they
dream about and what is important to them.
They are just like us, sometimes they just need to let someone
else know how excited they are about their next adventure.
Sometimes they need to let someone know if they had their
feelings hurt that day. Some of my fondest memories have been a
good talk or listen followed by a prayer.
Raising the Obedient Child
This quality I saved for last because I think it is very
important in preparing a child for each of the other qualities.
A confident, respectful, independent, fun loving, and happy child
can not achieve these qualities without being obedient. In order
to raise an obedient child, the child must be confident that you
as the parent love and respect them.
In order to raise an obedient child they must be allowed to be
independent and make decisions even when you are not there to
assist them. Lastly, you can bet that an unhappy child will be
anything but obedient. So if you want to raise an obedient child
that obeys his parents, grand parents, teachers, and someday even
his or her employer, you must convince them that to be obedient
is more valuable than disobedience.
I believe that good things happen to people who are obedient to
their elders and supervisors. This must become a part of a
child's value system. Remember, I stated that children form
their value system at a very early age. Many believe they form
their value system by the age of four or five. So it is up to us
to teach our children the importance and rewards of being
Raising children is our most important purpose in life as a
parent. None of us are naturally great or gifted as parents.
Our own childhood experiences may or may not be helpful. It is
my most sincere hope that some of this advice will assist you in
the blessed adventure of raising children.
Please leave a comment and share so we can bring light to this often neglected situation.
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