First of all, I want to let you know that I am not a psychologist or any other type of doctor but I was fatherless and did suffer from emotional abuse and didn't even know it. So, tell me how many of you grew up without your fathers and have suffered from some form of emotional abuse. And why isn't there much even written about it? But I want to be the first to say publicly there is a connection between fatherlessness and psychological abuse.
This Should Prove The Connection
When I was younger and growing up in a fatherless environment, I really didn't think much about it. It was the norm. All of my brothers and sisters were fatherless but most of my cousins were lead but a father in their households but not by their biological father. It's strange when I look at how we all turned out as a result of not having our biological fathers there for us. Most of us have engaged in drug usage or selling it, crime or abuse. They also did time in the system early on but learned our lesson.
I'm probably the only sibling who has never been in the system or engaged in any drug usage ever. But life has still been a struggle for me as well. I just could not meet the right woman to be a good wife. I failed 3 times in this category. I'm the only sibling with more than one marriage. I was lost leaving high school and going straight into the military.
Not being able to stay in a relationship and work on it. I was never in love with any of my wives. Yes, this is emotional abuse on me from not having a father to show me the way and on my wives because I couldn't give them stability. I never saw what that was so I couldn't give it. I sure I could've learned how to but I just didn't.
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On My Daily Stroll-The Abuse is Real
If you have been reading my blog for a while, then you should know that I was a letter carrier and this is how I witness a large amount of my experience and the impact of fatherlessness. I could spot a fatherless child from blocks away just by the way they walked. These were children who would lack self-esteem. They couldn't look me in the eyes as I walked by. No hellos or good mornings. Some of them would talk back to adult authority like they were the ones in charge.
One day while delivering I came up to a mailbox and put the mail in the box. I turned to walk away about 10 steps from the box I heard a pop and a minor sting in the lower right part of my back. I looked back, didn't see anyone.
When I got near my truck I started to feel a little pain in that same area and I started to rub it. Now I felt moisture and when I turned around I notice a little blood was present. Now I realized it was a pellet gun.
I was shot in the back by a fatherless child and I wasn't really mad at him but I was mad at his mom. She never made an attempt to find me and apologize for her son's action.
Mental abuse is running rapid in the fatherless community. Not much is even being said about it. I've witness customers on my route sneaking in abandon homes to smoke weed and have sex.
That's boys on boys and girls on girls. The mothers of these fatherless children are suffering from mental abuse as well. They can't have an adult conversation unless it about something sexual, and I'm the mailman hearing this. No respect for authority. These all can be factors of fatherlessness and how it affects the mental stability of our fatherless children.
Tragedy All Over The News Wave
Have you ever heard on the news that there has been a shooting? What about a school fight? Or some type of physical abuse? Well, do you ever hear that this situation may have stemmed from a fatherless upbringing? Maybe once. The school shooting in Florida last year, some people were trying to say this person came from a fatherless or bad father experience. This was the only time I heard fatherlessness mentioned.
I didn't hear it last year when there were over seventy people shoot with 13 dying. There was not one mention of the fatherlessness for these tragedies. What about to scary game called the knockout game. Do we know how many of these children were from fatherless homes or home with a negative father upbringing?
Lastly, what about the sexual assault accusations all over the news. How many of the guys and women committing these acts actually came from a strong supportive father-in-home household. I'm sure not many. We don't know the exact answer because the numbers are barely researched.
Why We As A society Should Pay More Attention to This
When we see the tragedies of today and realize that most of or if not all of them exist as a result of fatherlessness, we need not ignore this any further. From, children being molested and men doing the molesting and vice versa to unnecessary shooting all over the world. We must now start to find solutions to changing this fatherless problem.
We all can help. From teenagers to 90 years old. One way is to become a coach and help with these children's self-esteem. I mentioned that in an earlier blog post but I will never let it go until I have 1000 coaches working as a result of me. How many people can you help become coaches who will help our children become better people thus becoming better father material?
This is going to take many of us to put a dent in this problem. I am here to make sure we as a society will understand the importance of a strong respectful father in our children's lives.
Please leave a comment so we can get the process rolling. If you have any questions of me please ask or if you would rather ask me in a more private setting the go to questionsfromthefatherless.com